FATHERHOOD

The problems young people face is quite alarming. As youths we're expected to be vibrant, energetic, focused, responsible, creative, smart and purpose driven but sadly the reverse is the case, only few get it right in life. There are many factors responsible for the tarnished dreams and rightful living of young people nowadays, I've been privileged to have a one on one conversation with youths regarding issues of life and their problems is usually centered on one major factor....Fathers. Sometimes you will hear youths say "I don't know my Dad is" or "my Dad doesn't love me I'm a failure". It's really frustrating to have an unsupportive father.

A father's role in the family is a vital one. He is called upon to be a leader and protector for the family and to give an example of Christ's love (Gen.18:19). Fathers are children's pillars, they are needed in every phase of a child's life. Research shows that children are 20% more likely to end up in jail if their father's are absent or passive. A lot of young people are carrying heavy burdens in their hearts because they are either trying to prove themselves to their fathers or living a miserable life with an absent minded father. Mothers are important but they can't take the role of a Dad. A child's relationship with his/her father is a pivotal one. It's far more important than we've ever realized. To become morally sound, strong and confident, children need their father's love, attention, wisdom, encouragement and protection.

Dear Fathers, if you don't take up your role and pay keen attention to your child's wellbeing the society will do that for you and I can assure you that it won't turn out right. The child needs someone to guide and guard, to criticise(when necessary) and applaud, to instruct and direct on the right path to follow. We need our fathers to stand out and be the men that God has ordained, to walk in the ways and fear of the Lord, the destiny of the children depends on it(Psalm 128:3-4). If you're a family man I plead with you today, go home and love your family. The world would be a better place with active fathers.

SINGLENESS

Society has taught that being single is almost like an epidemic that needs to be cured. People in the environment and in the church makes you feel miserable when you're unmarried. When a person get to his/her late 20s or early 30s, the question usually is "when are you getting married?" The pressure you experience makes you feel inadequate or unwanted, most people feel incomplete outside marriage. Marriage should not qualify, dignify, or complete you, it should be an amplifier of the virtue and value you've inculcated as a single. Marriage is a choice not a requirement.

Do not confuse singleness for loneliness, the most important relationship in life is not interpersonal but intrapersonal. Singleness is a gift from God, its a time to build capacity physically, morally, emotionally, and spiritually. It's a period to build a strong and lasting relationship with God knowing that there is nothing else demanding your attention (Eccl.12:1). No one can ever have a fulfilled life without God, singleness gives you the opportunity to fast, pray, study, and discover your purpose in life. Being single allows you to develop inbuilt skills and  talents, to harness the greatness within you and make the world a better place.

Being single gives you time to acquire knowledge. Self knowledge is the key to a successful career, relationship and marriage. Take out time to read and enlighten yourself about certain issues of life. Confusing marriage with maturity has always been wrong, age does not qualify you to get married knowledge does. The most important time in your life is your unmarried time. Loneliness is a state while singleness is a disposition. Your marriage is only as good as your singleness, you bring to the marriage what you are as a single. A successful marriage can only be determined by a successful single life.

Your value shouldn't reduce because of someone else's inability to see your worth. Self love is the most important form of love on earth, no one will love you beyond the way you love yourself. Never look down on your self image, enjoy and make the most of your singleness, build and develop yourself in all ramifications. Singleness is not loneliness but wholeness and uniqueness.

GENUINE LOVE

Could this really be love or just infatuation. If what I feel is love, then why do I still feel empty.
Muna a young beautiful, smart, but naive girl born into a family of nine had that notion in her mind. Muna happened to be the last child of her parents. Being the last child she had so much expectations from her parents and older siblings. She expected so much love and care from her family, that they would be willing to do anything to make her happy at all times. Just like the common adage which says "if wishes were horses beggars would ride" day by day her wishes were just mere fantasies and her expectations were never met. Her parents were passive and her siblings didn't really have her time.

Some days Muna wakes and goes to bed without having a chance to say a word to her parents. Muna's dad travels for weeks and comes home without even caring or wanting to know how she had been. This young child needed love, affection, care and attention but sadly she never got any of it. This I must say is not good for a child's upbringing.

Would I say fortunately or unfortunately, Muna's older brother got a well paid job in an oil company. He had a comfortable life so he decided to take Muna in and make her his responsibility. She thought to herself 'this is going to be the best episode of my life, better days  are here again. Oh! How she was mistaken if only she had known that it was going to be nothing different, but rather will expose her to a phase she was not ready for. Muna had to accept the fact that things will never change and learn to live on and take each day as it comes. She lived this way all through her secondary school days until in her S S 3.

Moses was cute, fair and brainy. He was a sly, he knew how desperate Muna was for love and  how naive she was about the whole concept of love so he decided to take advantage of it. He painted this picture of a genuine guy who wanted the best for Muna, he would check on her morning, noon, and night but deep down he had ulterior motives. For Muna those were the best days of her life, the morning sun was different, the fresh breeze was so cool and the sensations that came from the way he spoke to her swept her off her feet. "Could this really be love"?, "is this really happening"? If this is a dream, I don't ever want to wake up. Those were her words. She would wake up everyday with a nice good morning text to bless her day, and will go to bed smiling from lovely words from him. Moses, the guy that completes me was her slogan at that time.

Overtime emotions aroused that they became intimate, the first time he pecked and kissed her she lost control of herself, the whole day was filled with thoughts of Moses. Then, from a harmless peck they graduated to foreplay. If only Muna could see the deceit in Moses eyes. Muna found herself in a mess she couldn't get out of as she was gradually getting addicted to the sweet sensations she gets from Moses touch. In her mind, she thought this is pure love little did she realize that it was pure lust. She continued that way for two years.

When she finished with senior secondary and needed to move out of the state to further her studies. The relationship came to an end leaving her wondering what to do with her life. Getting to the university, Muna joined a living campus fellowship and then gave her life to Christ. The love she experienced this time was indescribable, kind, forgiving, selfless, compassionate and overwhelming. What she felt then for Moses was like a child's play to what she feels now with God. She had inner peace and the void was filled. Back then Moses would sheepishly tell her that he was willing to die for her(but you and I know that it's a fat lie) but Jesus loves her so much that He gave His life for her that she may be free from the bondage of lust.

It was a new dawn for Muna as her life took a better shape. She found purpose and a reason to live. Muna is now happy and fulfilled in Christ and she wouldn't trade it for any mundane thing of the world. Muna's words changed to "love is patient, caring, kind, love is felt most when it's genuine". This is because she had a test of real love. Real love is in Christ and we can only experience it when we genuinely give Him our life.

CHARACTER FORMATION

With the intellectual, financial, and spiritual power we acquire, most times what separates us amongst men is our character. Your knowledge, hard work, and handiwork can make you successful but character is one of the factors for maintaining success. Never be of the misconception that character has little or no role to play in your all-round development. Your attitude can speak a thousand words even in your silence.

Character refers to all the qualities and features that make a person, groups of people, and places different from others. Developing a good character takes self discipline. There are many factors that will affect our character negatively or positively it's just left for us to decide which way to tilt to. Charisma may be useful in getting short-term attention, but it is largely useless when it comes to achieving a long-term impact on people. For this, we need character.

So the question is, how do we cultivate good character? Character is shaped by certain forces, if we want to develop our character we need to pay attention to them.
#The information we consume: you need a sound and informed mind to be able to function. The mind is a place where information is absorbed and processed before execution by the body (our character). Computer literates will usually say "garbage in, garbage out". The same is true with our personal lives. Watching endless hours on mindless television, viewing violence or pornography erodes our character. We must be attentive to the input we consume, it affects us in deep and profound ways. It is the bedrock on which our character is built or developed. According to 2Corinthians. 10:4-5, the major demonic strongholds against us are not physical assaults, they are in the mind; thoughts and arguments etc. You need to free your mind from the bondage of the enemy by subjecting it to the power of God's word through study, meditation and prayer.
*Our cycle of friends: Jim Rohn taught that " you are the average of the five people you spend most time with". If this is true-- we have to be more intentional about the people we choose to associate with. If you want good character traits, associate with people who have healthy ones. Dissociate from people who reinforce your worst traits ( see 1corinthians 15:33). Flee from relationships that pull you down.

Character develops over time and it is often triggered by the things we see, the books we read, and also the association we keep. We have to make a deliberate effort to stay clear from things that do not add value to our lives. Work on your inside and let it reflect on the outside. True change comes from within and expresses itself without.

Character formation has often been neglected based on the ignorance of its significance but it's too important to be ignored. Throughout time, many have acknowledged the importance of character for a flourishing life and a virtuous, stable, noble and upright society. For us not to be hooligans in our society we need to consciously work on our character. We have to deeply cultivate internalised pattern of values, attitudes and actions.

A good character is more precious than worldly possessions,(Eccl7: 1)and the work of forming is the noblest in which men can engage  (Testimonies for the church 1881)

Do not be of the assumption that worldly possessions will elevate you, do not be tossed by the wave of ignorance but rather pay adequate  attention to virtues and values. To attain perfection of character is not an easy matter but it's also not impossible. A noble character is earned by individual effort through the merits and grace of Christ. Don't let your public image to be better developed than your personal character. If your character is left unchecked it can destroy your legacy. In the end, it us our character that makes or breaks us.